Here
are some quips and quotes I thought you might enjoy.
Paul Vogt is responsible for most of these.
Marriage
changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing
up real fast.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know
me here.
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many
of them get elected.
I love being married. It's great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's
wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know
where it's been!"
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but
a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Whoa!
That was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing,
I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now
I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be
able to tell the difference.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall
off.
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called LABOR!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live
forever.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on
it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
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